god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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