You're completely useless in the revolution.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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