Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
