YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
