He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
