Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
