I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Randomize
