Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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