please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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