Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
