I got chris browned last night
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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