I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
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