we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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