I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
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