The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
