not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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