basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
