Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
So I just went to clothing optional bar
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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