i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
