I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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