so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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