I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
