Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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