Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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