drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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