you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
