I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
