Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
