somebody snuck up and got me drunk
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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