Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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