I wanna passion pit in your ass
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
