i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize