Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
