I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
