erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Just pee around me
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
