How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
