you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
