they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
And then my night got REAL pukey
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
