what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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