So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
