i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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