I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
