Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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