Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize