Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Your cock deserves a montage
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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