If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
