I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
