I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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