office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
