I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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