I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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